Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

Time	Event
12:18a	craft The craft fair was actually pretty sweet. A ton of people showed up, we sold a lot of merch, and there were a lot of other columbus people selling all manner of stuff. I think it surprised me because usually when we do public events, people just kind of show up and stare at us and don't say anything, but everyone we met who'd seen our sites seemed friendly. Maybe it was because the bar opened at noon? I don't know. But it was a lot of fun, and if you came, thanks! Especially to the cats who drove in from Buffalo, and Springfield, and from all over Ohio too. The day before we went I got some sort of pre-cooked, pre-made sausage sort of thing from Whole Foods. (I am not going to talk about that store because I'm not in the 99.99% of bloggers who have such insight as to write things like WHOLE FOODS HAS EXPENSIVE, YET DELICIOUS FOOD or TARGET IS A GREAT STORE!!!! I LOVE TARGET!!! Sorry guys I know this is a blog but I just don't care that much about where you shop.) It was italian sausage with peppers and onions and so forth. It just sat there in a plastic container, in a bag, on the floor, not in a fridge, for probably three hours. I ate it and not only did I not get sick or die, but it was delicious. I think I may be over-cautious about food safety but crap I don't want to get some sort of food-borne illness. There is a greek restaurant here in upper arlington, near where we live, and a couple of women got some grecian bacterial infection from this place and it made the news and THAT MADE ME SO MAD. Kind of because it is easy to be safe with your food, and kind of because I don't think I will ever be able to go there again. So, some things, whenever I have them, I think "I should have this food more often." But somehow, it never comes together. It actually did come together for italian sausage, though, and I ate it for probably a year straight. (If you haven't noticed I am reasonably healthy so oh my god you have nothing to say about my sausage consumption.) I stopped though, early last year, and I just never got back to italian sausage. I always had some leftover spinach to eat, or some buffalo burgers, or god knows what. I probably picked chicken wings over italian sausage during my five-and-a-half-week-long chicken wing obsession, and once that faded, the italian sausage was nowhere to be found. Even when I ate italian sausage for a year I was totally healthy, I get blood tests done regularly so I'm not making stuff up here. The doctor said I was doing fine (I did not tell her about the sausage, but what the hell doctor is going to tell you that eating sausage twice a day is okay.) Giant Eagle has good italian sausage, if you live in Ohio or PA. I'm sure Whole Foods has it too but it's probably $15.99 a pound and made with fresh, free-range italians. (Comment on this)
5:06a	the facts of life http://www.toothpastefordinner.com - the facts of life
11:01p	my adventures in the rap game So okay, we put up that new site Married To The Sea the other day, right? Yeah, I know you have probably already seen it. But, okay, see, the thing is, I got this retarded idea. I got the idea that I would make a rap theme song for our new web site. I am not going to rap, no, I don't think that would be a good idea. I mean, I'm not going to lie, I will rap hard for an hour, but I am not gonna put it on the internet. I just do not sound tough. You have to sound tough to rap and I just think I am not very tough-sounding at all. I sound like the toughest experience that has ever happened to me is that once I had to wait too long at Burger King. The only beef I have in my game is with the mailman who tends to bring my mail in the afternoon, rather than in the morning, which I greatly prefer. Well, a long chain of boring events happened, and I ended up writing U-God's agents asking them if he would be interested in rapping on a Married To The Sea theme song. They did not write me back. I was pretty much deterred by that, well, definitely deterred by that, cause I don't know if he even saw it, or if his agents were like OHHHH MAN I HATE THAT GUY'S WEB SITES, OHHH, NO WAY and U-God did not even hear about it. So I got on "Myspace" and I added myself to all the Wu-Tang member pages, because they have their own myspace pages, which actually mentally enabled me to allow myself to sign up for myspace. "Dude. The Wu-Tang think Myspace is cool. The Wu-Tang are very good rappers, I will trust them. I am going to type in the URL right now." And then I got on there and immediately I got like 3 "myspace bulletins" from U-God. Or as some call him... Golden Arms. I don't know if you have heard the song "Winter Warz" but it is easily one of my favorite raps ever. U-God raps on that, his verse is awesome. So I thought it was fortuitous that he e-bulletin-messaged me some freestyle raps. I replied to his bulletins. "Listen, I tried to talk to your agents, my wife and I want to hire you to lay down some vocals on a theme song I wrote for my online business, we'd give you credit and pay you $x, if you're interested write me back or give me a call at xxx-xxx-xxxx." I sent it and figured I wouldn't hear back for a while, if at all. He was online the next day, it said "online now" under his picture, and wrote some all-caps bulletin with some freestyle raps. But he did not reply to my message. Or call. Maybe U-God just does not want to rap for less than ten g's. Then some dude wrote me a message, someone else, not U-God or in the Wu-Tang, and he said he had been having persistent dreams about the Wu-Tang. I have not had dreams about the Wu-Tang, but maybe I will after writing U-God. Maybe it's a curse, like you say "U-God" under your breath twelve times without stopping, and then I guess the curse is... persistent Wu-Tang dreams. I am going to log off here and say it just to make sure. Usually my dreams are about people breaking into my house, and I feel very threatened, but they just sit down on my couch and watch television. And I just watch them from the stairs over the living room, just keeping track of them, you know, "Man, I hope he leaves soon. I want to go back to sleep. I better stay out here in case he tries to take anything. He probably won't, though. But I still gotta stay out here. Jesus." So I mean, if I had dreams every night where I met the Wu-Tang, I mean, it would probably be all right. Maybe they would beat me in freestyle raps every night, but, I mean, who is going to win that? The Wu-Tang is probably going to win that. I mean, like I said. I rap, but my raps sound like a mild complaint. "My little flash drive broke / So I bought another / Life is hard / When you have to blog about it." (Comment on this)

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